Mutants of the World

As modern methods of genetic manipulation become more commonplace, we endeavor to chronicle the most interesting, helpful, or artful examples of the craft of genetic manipulation.

Portuguese Minotaur

Undersea communication cables are often the victim of terrorist attacks. The EU has decided to protect Mediterranean cables with this mutant. Like the Portuguese Man-o-war jellyfish, these mutants can lay thin tendrils for miles – a maze of invisible stinging pain.

tags: man-o-war, minotaur, mythological, ocean


It has taken British Mutagen (BM) months to create this useful mutant. Luckily there is still plenty for this animal to do! This cetacean collects huge amounts of oil in its modified horn. It then separates the oil from the water inside its body. Spilled oil is then ejected from its blowhole. Tar-whals can live off of crude oil indefinitely, so they do not threaten marine habitats.

tags: narwhal, tar, oil spill, Gulf, ocean, BP

Scotch Tapir

Recent developments in genetic manipulation have finally made it possible to create intricate patterns and colors in animal skins. The University of Nebraska created this mammal as a mascot.

(The hat is not part of the mutant's natural growth.)

tags: tapir, Scotland, tape, castle

Daddy Lincoln Log Legs

Nothing emancipates us from the problem of summer pests better than this insectivore! It can be found anywhere log cabins are found. With its elegant hat and tails it can eliminate mosquitoes, flies, and other irritants.

(This mutant was developed by 'Mutants, Mascots, and Makeup Emporium'.)

tags: Abraham Lincoln, daddy longlegs, spider, insect


You may already have seen this wildly successful mutant in modern ERs. The toe'd is an efficient source of replacement toes for patients who have lost one. They grow in warm, damp environments. The patented tissue building process creates toe'ds which can supply spare digits to anyone with the donor mutant's blood type.

tags: toad, toe, medical

Tree Horse

Tree horses keep their external gills wet in rainforest showers. They use three prehensile tails for support and locomotion. Most tree horses are less than seven inches long, but they reduce arboreal pests. (Microsoft's ZooTech lab created this mutant.)

tags: sea horse, trees, leaping


Planimals don't come any stranger than this edible avian. This is one bird that doesn't taste just like chicken. Hybrid Vigor Ltd. created this unsettling mutant.

tags: pear, parrot, planimal

Flying Frog

These tiny frogs collect swamp gasses and heat them to inflate their throat pouches and take to the air. From there they can rapidly deflate to drop down on unsuspecting insects. They were originally created as a party favor to promote a major family film release.

tags: frog, inflate, dirigible, ornamental


The squarrel is a genius at stacking and protecting square acorns and other square plants. They can be trained to sort a variety of items. They have also gotten a lot of work modeling for 8-bit video-games.

tags: squirrel, square


"Dumb as a ton of bricks" doesn't apply to these stone-cold swimmers. The Marine Science Engineering Group created these predators to keep down the menace of rock lobsters — an animal which has menaced a variety of beach locales.

tags: octopus, stone, B-52s, ocean